World record splinter

Around 8pm at Collette's birthday barbecue, Hallie trod on a splinter off the deck. It was the biggest splinter I had ever seen. Of course half of it was sticking out which of course broke off when we pulled it out. Simon is the king of getting out splinters but he had already left the party with Oliver. We debated about how we could pull it out as it was lying horizontal in her foot and she was crying and wriggling, making it hard to get to.

In the end I decided to take her down to the hospital to get it removed. No splinter probe was going to be able to get to it. Being a Saturday night I knew I was in for a long wait. Hallie was still crying and it was awfully hot in the emergency department. The budget for air-con does not extend to the waiting room. The girls kept asking for water but I had only come with my phone and kept sending them to the toilet to drink from the tap.

About 11pm, they drifted off to sleep on my lap. I was chatting to a few people and one lady who had a very fussy baby but was in because her husband fell off his motorbike (very original) bought a water from the drink machine and gave it to me as she left. She did not even ask me, just did it. I could have kissed her. It was so thoughtful and kind. I was feeling cross, hot and tired but after that kind gesture, my whole attitude changed and I felt alot better.

As midnight approached, this lady came in with a bug in her ear. She was being so dramatic, swearing and carrying on and demanding to be seen straightaway. When she went in we could still hear her abusing the emergency staff. We all looked at each other in the waiting room and rolled our eyes.

The LGH emergency room is quite a form of entertainment sometimes. When a person walks in, they quickly scan the room to see how many people are there, their face drops if it is full, knowing they are in for a wait. Those that are already there, quickly look up out of morbid curiosity to see what is wrong and at the same time hoping it is not worse than their dilemma as then we will be pushed down the queue. Humans are so predictable sometimes - obviously I was super bored.

Just as I thought I was reaching my all time waiting record in emergency, after 4.5 hrs, we got called in. That's just the waiting time to be seen. When I was in for my gall bladder I got in straightaway because I went by ambulance but I was down in emergency for about 8 hrs before I got admitted to a ward. I'm not complaining though, at least we have medical care here.

After querying whether Hallie's splinter was just a long black pen mark (I'm not that blonde), the doctor decided to give her local anaesthetic and cut it out with a small scalpel. Two other nurses came in, one the spitting image of Federal Environment Minister Peter Garrett, bald head and all. They wrapped her in a sheet so she could not move and laid her on her stomach.

Two nurses held Hallie down while the doctor administered the local a few times around the splinter. Hallie gave the most bloodcurdling screams. Great, I thought, everyone is awake now! I was quite surprised as she handles her blood days real well but she just screamed and screamed. It did not take long to cut out the splinter and they were amazed at how big it was. Poor Sarra stood there crying because Hallie was screaming so much.

We were home by 1.30am so it did not turn into the all-nighter I was dreading. The bug lady looked like she had been sedated. On our way out, she was being very co-operative.