Last year we celebrated Charlotte's due date by writing messages on balloons and sending them up into the sky. I knew I wanted to follow in the same vein this year but didn't quite know what to do. I wanted to do something simple but meaningful to us. I know it is highly unlikely that Charlotte would have been born on her due date (all the other kids were overdue) but the fact that she would have been ready to be born on this date (if her magical extra chromosome had let her :) ), still makes it a tender reflective day for me.
So I decided that seeing as she would be turning one, we would release one balloon today with our messages on it.
When we got the balloon today, Jonty kept playing with it in the car (and it kept bopping me in the head on the way home) and he thought it was for his birthday which is next Friday. :)
What made today extra special is that Flynn was here this year to celebrate this day. (last year he was in my tummy). I have often struggled with the bittersweet feeling of losing Charlotte and getting Flynn. I know that if Charlotte was here that having 'special needs' and being baby number 5, would have meant it was extremely unlikely, or like 'out of the question', ;), that we would have tried for another baby but I could not live without my Flynny either. I love him so fiercely. Hallie must have been thinking the same thing because one day she said just out of the blue, "Mum, I wish Flynn and Charlotte were twins and then they both could have stayed".
Flynn with Charlotte's rose
I took a photo on the sagging verandah of our cubby house. I think the whole house looks more lopsided than last year. :)
same day last year - 2010
and then finished the day with some cupcakes that Sarra made. She came up with the idea herself and made them and decorated them. She is so thoughtful and caring.
I was thinking at the end of today that Charlotte would think it was nice we sent her a balloon but I was also thinking about what would she REALLY like. On my mind today has been my beautiful good friend Lisa and Aaron, and the commencement of Noahvember. Every day during Noahvember, Aaron is posting video clips and pictures about Noah on Noah's facebook memorial page. I thought about how privileged we are going to be to catch a glimpse of Noah at different times of his life. Then I thought...........we can all do Noahvember too. We too can honour Noah this month by doing something. We can, every day of this month, show one act of kindness or perform one act of service, to our family or our friends, or to complete strangers. Doing it anonymously will probably make it more fun too. :) Each day we can pay it forward and remember the beautiful example of giving that Noah was to his family, who miss him so very much and to all of us who he has touched with his own unique gift of selflessness.
I know Charlotte will love a balloon each year but I know she will love even more that we are 'doing' something and that she gets to start off Noahvember for our family and that this is something we can do every year to honour our amazing friend Noah.
NB I hope one of the kids don't ask - "does this mean we don't have to do anything nice the other 11 months of the year?" ;)
NB again - this is one of my favourite photos of Noah-pictured here with Harri. (4 yrs old I think).
NB again again - HAPPY BIRTHDAY GORGEOUS BABY CHARLOTTE