Dear Noah,
Today is supposed to be the end of NOAHvember but I don't want it to end. Maybe we could do December too and call it, "King of Kings". I watch my Mummy watch your videos each day and I see her laugh and cry at the same time, especially the ones where your Daddy tickles you and I can hear your laughter throughout our house. Mummy loves hearing your Mummy laugh on the videos too especially as she knows how sad your Mummy is now, well she doesn't really 'know', noone can truly know the pain of losing you, like your Mummy and Daddy, but my Mummy loves your Mummy so she feels sad when she sees the pain in your Mummy's eyes. Mummy loves all the different photos of you each day too but she especially likes the ones when you have your cool sunnies on.
My Mummy did an ok job during NOAHvember, remembering most days to do an act of kindness or act of service for family or strangers. She did freak me out two Saturdays ago though when just me and her were coming back from Hobart late at night, about 9pm. As she was driving along, Mummy spotted a male hitchhiker and thought she might stop for NOAHvember. But then Mummy decided she was a little scared to be picking up a strange male in the middle of the highway with noone else about and in the dark, so she kept driving. I know she felt a little guilty for not stopping but I think she was very wise to keep driving.
Anyway today being the last day of NOAHvember (but really if I put on a cute smile maybe your Daddy will keep going), I wanted to say thankyou for your beautiful gift to me. It makes me sad that you won't be using these syringes anymore - I would gladly give them back and a million more to have you here and hang out with you but I understand that you were tired and as your Mummy said, she knew you "were ready a month before you even got sick that you were getting ready to go, but was hoping she was wrong."
At first Mummy wanted to put your syringes in the cupboard and not use them because they were "Noah's syringes" and they reminded her of you not being here and also how your Mummy and Daddy miss you oh so very much. But then she read your Mummy's post on your equipment and supplies, and in particular your Mummy's words, "while driving there I felt sad knowing that Noah wasn't able to use these things anymore, but then as I was driving I started to think about how good it also is that he doesn't have to use it anymore. He is no longer in his body full of restrictions and I'm sure he is loving that after ten years. I also thought about how happy Noah would be that we were able to share his things with his friends." Straightaway Mummy got all "Noah's syringes" out of the cupboard and we had a great time playing with them and Mummy said how happy you would be knowing that you got to share these with me.
You would know probably better than anyone, that it doesn't take long for syringes to stick and the measurement writing to come off and Mummy used to only have a small stash (she hated paying for them) so would use them over and over again until they really stuck hard and instead of sliding smoothly into my mouth the medicine would shoot out really jerkily in one go and I hated it, although mean Mummy would laugh but then I would spit it out so whose laughing now huh.
Although I have to have medicine every eight hours and so I go through alot of syringes, this stash you gave me I reckon will last until I am old enough to chew and swallow meds like my big sister Hallie. I can't thank you enough for "Noah's syringes" and one day, I will thank you in person with the biggest hug, not just for the syringes, but the more beautiful gift of as your Mummy describes - this "incredible angel here on earth." Thankyou too for being our angel on earth for my Mummy last year. My sister and I were watching from heaven and we will forever be grateful to you.
I was at your house on Monday night and even though my siblings playing with your siblings made it a little noisy (our Mummys would say alot noisy), I could still feel that peace that enveloped your house just after you passed away. It was nice to feel that at your house.
I better go because Mummy says I am hogging the computer.
Love you heaps.
Love Flynny.
PS - when you next go for a big run (or sidestep) can you whisper to me what it feels like. I can't wait!!! xx