Thursday, August 26, 2010

Can I have a whinge??

Why not. It's my blog!! Okay so last night Sarra had her basketball finals at Elphin Stadium. She plays for the Devils club and they play every Wednesday. After I signed her up and paid the $220, I found out they had moved training from Friday to Sunday. See a dilemma unfolding?

I had a word to the coach and said look I am happy to pull her out of the season because she cannot train on Sundays but if you don't mind her playing just the games, then we will continue on. Coach said, 'happy for her to continue, maybe do some drills at home'. Righto I thought, not too bad, after all it is only 9yr olds playing.

After a couple of weeks, the coach told me that some of the parents were not happy with Sarra going on first as she didn't go to training. We came to an arrangement that Sarra would have less court time because of her missing training. I said at the time, look if Sarra is hindering the 'team focus' because she is not understanding what you guys did in training and it is showing in the games, then I understand if she needs to be pulled. NO, the coach said she was fine to continue but I noticed that from then on she was very negative toward Sarra and would yell at her if she fumbled a pass etc, in fact she yelled at everyone, the players, umpires and even the parents doing bench duty. Some of the umpires refused to umpire the games she was coaching.

It became very clear that she had a band of 4 favourite players who were the talented ones. These girls were never subbed off and would get more and more exhausted as the game went on. I was kinda okay with this, up until last night. Sarra was getting some court time, maybe 3 min in the 2nd and 3min in the 4th quarter and I felt like I couldn't complain because she never went to training. What she did do was never miss or be late for a game, ever!

So lat night we turned up to the do or die match. We had to win to get into the grand final. Sarra sat on the bench in the 1st quarter - normal, sat on the bench in the 2nd quarter - okay it was a final and the scores were close.

Sat on the bench in the 3rd quarter. Sat on the bench in the last quarter. No wait, the coach sent her on for the last 7 seconds, yes that's right, the last 7 seconds in the last quarter. It was the cruelest most insensitive thing to see.

I watched my daughter get colder and colder by the minute and I was itching to go over there and yank her out of that stadium but I felt restrained to see how it played out. And what I saw was a brave little girl, who cheered her heart out for her team and kept her spirits up and a smile on her face even though I could see how disappointed she was. I was so proud of her!

I am not one to cause a scene and I rarely raise my voice. I am good at controlling my anger but I was seething. After the game, when everyone left, I approached the coach about why Sarra got absolutely no court time whatsoever. We had driven a 70km round trip in the rain, on a cold winter's night and I was furious.

She said it was club basketball not a social roster and because Sarra didn't go to training and was not one of her top players and the game was tight and it was a finals, she didn't get to play. I looked at this person as my daughter stood beside me in tears and looked into her cold dark eyes, that had no sensitivity to crushing the confidence of a 9yr old girl and all I felt was pity!

When I got home I rang the club president and raised my concerns with him. He is going to have a chat with her and ring me back because the club certainly does not accept that happening. Anyway the season is over now but maybe some good will come out of it in that we can prevent this from happening to some other child, who may not be the best dribbler, who may not perform the perfect layup or be the most consistent rebounder, but has the biggest heart and simply just loves the game.

By the way Sarra is a really good defender. Oh and they lost by one goal.


Anonymous said...

That totally sucks big time Simone!!
Love Lorraine.

Chelsea Parsons said...

Grrrrrrrrrrr, Im seething now. Way to go Sara, you are beautiful and such an example.

Essie said...

A whinge? FULL ON!! I would be going OFF!! You see that stuff in movies! Of course their team lost if Sara wasn't playing most of the game! Some people! Good on Sara, what a trooper!

Anonymous said...

They are teaching our children the wrong ideas of 'team sport'. At that age they should be taught that its about having a go (no matter what ability they have) and sharing it around. This coach obviously has a win win attitude and has no regard for her players. What a shame for those girls.

* said...

Wow what a cruel horrible woman she is! Considering you spoke to her a few times and been ok with the little court time she had it easy, some parents would have just cracked it early. Good on you for being cool calm and collect, not sure if I could have been. Who knows Sara may be the next BIG star in basketball all she needs is a little more good coaching!

The Kings said...

oh Simone - that is just awful. I knew it was bad, but it got even worse!! That is one reason why I haven't moved Jalen down to Elphin - it's just all too competative and I don't want that to happen to him. The Y isn't exactly the NBA but he has fun and that is what counts. Poor Sarra - I probably wouldn't have been so restrained - I reckon I would've gone down there and stormed off with her but good on you for sticking it out and going and saying something.
Tell Sarra we are proud of her and that being a nice person is more important than anything else in life.

Becky said...

It's sad that our children have to endure such hard things. We have dealt with similar situations over here too. Not fun. Good for you for handling it so well.

make it perfect said...

You have got to be kidding me? I was almost crying by the end of that blog post and I wasn't even directly involved. That sucks big time. You handled it all so well Simone, I don't know how I am going to cope when I have to watch my children go through something like that...don't you just want to step in for them sometimes?

Carli said...

You can absolutely have a whinge!! I was getting madder as the saga went on - that is awful!!!What an awful experence for Sara, I hope next season's team is 100 times better!

Bride said...

thats so awful!
My goodness, you sure handled that well... I don't think i could have dealt with it in the same composed manner.
kina glad they lost after hearing the story!